Sanjib Saha
1 July 2023
When it comes to seeking help about our finance and investments – whether from a professional financial advisor or a trusted mentor – it’s essential to consider the broader aspects of wealth and life instead of specific money questions. Why? Because money alone doesn’t guarantee happiness and fulfilment; it’s merely a means to help us navigate life’s challenges. Often, the biggest roadblocks to our satisfaction are non-financial, and money fails to do much about them. In fact, money can create roadblocks of its own in our life journey. Thus, it’s important to reflect on what money can and cannot give us.
Here are ten thought-provoking questions to help you gauge your relationship with money. There is no right or wrong answer to them, but the answers must be honest and without judgement. Ready to explore? Take some uninterrupted time, find a quiet place free of distractions, relax, and embark on this self-exploratory exercise.
Exploring these questions won’t make you a millionaire overnight, but it’d undoubtedly help you see your life through a different lens. Building a healthy relationship with money is the first step towards financial contentment.
1. What role does money play in my life?
This is perhaps the most fundamental question to ask, and if you think long enough, the answer might surprise you. Ponder the emotions and feelings that cross your mind when you think about money. Childhood experiences and parental influences shape our financial perspectives. What are yours and how they influenced your relationship with money? Where do your money-related emotions come from? Examine how money controls your life and compare its influence on your wellbeing with other essential factors like health, family, friends, and passions.
2. What makes me happy and how does money affect this?
Happiness often comes from little things, most of which cost little or even free. Think about what lights up your day, specifically the ones that you’ve taken for granted. Research suggests that lasting happiness comes mostly from rich experiences, healthy relationships and helping others. But there is nothing wrong in feeling happy about material possessions or splurges either. If something makes you happy, go for it without guilt if you can afford it. If it’s beyond your means, think hard whether it really makes you happy, or is it truly unaffordable.
3. What is my vision of a fulfilling life and what might prevent me from living one?
Continuing your thoughts about the role of money in your happiness, think about what a fulfilling life means for you. Envision your life ten, twenty or even more years from now. Reflect on the kind of person you want to become or things you need from life at that age. Do you see any roadblocks in getting there? Are these roadblocks primarily financial or something else?
4. What do I keep doing voluntarily that doesn’t increase my sense of wellbeing?
The flip side of the previous question is to identify the activities, habits or spending that don’t add much to your happiness and wellbeing. What’d happen if you stopped? You might find that you can save money, time, and emotional energy by letting go of these unnecessary pursuits. Why don’t you stop already?
5. Am I financially comfortable in my present life? If not, how much money makes the needle move?
Financial comfort is subjective – you either feel comfortable or you don’t. Reason with your answer and evaluate if it aligns with your present financial situation. If your financial life feels stretched, are you depriving yourself more than you should, or chasing an impractical lifestyle? If you feel too comfortable, are you cutting your cloth according to your cloth or are you blindly overspending? In most cases, it’s possible to live within the means and have a comfortable lifestyle too. It’s a matter of setting the right expectations and goals. If you need more money, how did you figure the amount and what can you do to get it?
6. What kind of wealth will make me feel financially secure and independent?
The previous question concerns your present life, and this one is for the future, including a time when your income might reduce or cease altogether. Many of us focus on making a living rather than truly living a life – if only we didn’t have to devote a significant portion of our time to earning a paycheck. Reflect on how much money would change that for you, allowing you to spend your time as you wish without relying on a paycheck? How did you arrive at that figure?
7. What are my biggest insecurities with money?
Fear is a potent emotion, and insecurities about money can disrupt our peace of mind and keep us awake at night. Figure out what worries you about money, how real the concerns are, and what change might make you feel more secure.
8. If I lose a lot of money, how will it affect my life and wellbeing?
Stretching the previous question further, contemplate the potential impact of a significant financial loss, such as losing half of the retirement savings or experiencing a devastating, uninsured damage to your property. While the thought may undoubtedly be unsettling, remember that humans are remarkably resilient. We are programmed to survive and adapt. Consider how you might cope and move on in such a situation and recognize your capability to overcome such a challenge. This awareness might become an effective antidote to combat your financial insecurities.
9. What are my big assumptions about money and wealth building?
Whether you’re a seasoned money manager or a complete novice, you probably have certain assumptions about money and wealth accumulation. Make a list and challenge them using reliable, and unbiased resources.
10. What mistakes have I made so far with money? If I want to take full control of my finance/investments, what do I think might go wrong?
Unless you’re a rare genius, you’ve surely made some missteps with money, knowingly or unknowingly. The good news is that mistakes are our greatest educators if we make conscious effort to learn from them. What are yours, why do you categorize them as mistakes, and how much did those mistakes affect your present life? Are you skeptical about your ability to take full control of your money life, without being dependent on anyone else? What mistakes are you afraid of?